I have been interacting with a lot of people who have had struggles with control. I myself am, to some degree, a control freak as well. I like to have things a certain way and when they don't go as I planned, I find myself stuck in paralysis of analysis. My family will tell you that it takes me a while to adjust to doing something different if I have a certain thing or way of doing things stuck in my mind. Part of that is personality and part of that is control.
The scary part is when we begin to control others because we feel to a degree that we can't control ourselves. Control is both a learned behavior and a coping mechanism to feel safe. People try to control every aspect of their lives, from their pets to their kids, from their friends to their spouses, from their yard to their money. Control comes in a variety of flavors like manipulation, guilt trips, grooming (giving wanted items to get desire behavior), anger, gossip, depression, anxiety, and all other degrees of our flesh (trying to do things apart from Christ). It's interesting that in Galatians 5, Paul addresses these very issues as things that bind us rather than free us.
I think the first part about being free from control is recognize that one, I'm trying to gain it in a situation, or two I've given it away to another. When I'm angry and my "buttons" are pushed, I give my control over to another because I allow them to cause a reaction in me. If I'm trying to gain control I use my anger to make others cower in my presence. Either way most of the time people don't realize they're doing it. Maybe subconsciously, but when others bring it to their attention they usually deny it. Recognizing and admitting it is a big first step!
Once I recognize it, I have to realize that the only person I can control is myself and sometimes that's hard. I also have to realize how little control I have and ultimately the one who is in control (God) is bringing me to a point where I see that only he is in control....
to be continued....