14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, 16 that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
Speaking on the topic of love, I think I see a common identity message in people that they are somehow unlovable. Maybe it was a message they received growing up from parents, friends or that first breakup. They then carry that ID into everything they do. It creates a fear that people will abandon them, find them out, and then once again prove their fear that they are in fact unlovable.
This passage in Ephesians is huge for people who believe themselves to be unlovable at any level. At the root of any behavior there is a belief or Identity message that is driving it. If someone acts out in anger there is usually a root to that. If someone is depressed or anxious there is a root to that. It is much like a fruit tree. We know the tree by its fruit. But what makes the fruit is the root. If there is a root of being unlovable, my anger is the fruit of that root. And in turn I push every one away with my anger and prove my fear. Most therapist try to cut the limb off of anger. The problem I find in pruning is that usually where I cut of one limb, two more sprout. So we get rid of the anger but drinking and depression soon fill its spot. The best way to get rid of the fruit is to dig up the tree and replant.
That's why this picture is so important. The verse is written in the present tense that means it is true now. You have a new root in Christ and that is you are loved!! I might not feel like it, but the problem with lying emotions is that they take a long time to catch up with truth. The reality is that you are loved!! The Christian walk is not trying to become something you're not (holy, spiritual, righteous), it discovering who you already are in Christ!!! As Christ dwells in my heart I begin to comprehend the full extent of God's love for me! And like I said, the fruit reveals the root! The root of being loved means the fruit is loving myself and others. Love then frees me to be myself and enjoy my creator in the relationship He has with me!