What and how are you communicating to your wife that she has yet to fit the bill of your expectation? It might even be in the things that your haven't said. Your emotional consequences/pouting. It's important to nurture fondness (truth thinking) toward our wife. (John Gottman) To nurture fondness toward your spouse is just that, not check in and see how she is failing. (expectation/condition). Whether she does the same or not, that's her deal, not yours. We're only responsible for ourselves. For men its important to clearly communicate how you feel about her (truth/positive) not about how she is failing to meet your sexual or emotional need. Sex is just as much of a gift as is love and even the condition of "because I have needs"(right or wrong on her part) can be a turn off. If you have more questions I'd love to hear from you! I believe this is a part of the journey all men (and women) are on!